"Bless Your Heart" of the Week: Sansa Stark
If you are a fan of the "Game of Thrones" television series on HBO, then you know just how often Sansa Stark's heart needs blessing. Now for those of you who have not watched the show, or read the books, and have any interest in doing so in the future I warn you now:
** Spoiler Alert **
I won't ruin this for you the way a group of 16 year olds with extended curfew ruined "Breaking Bad" for me one night at a 24 hour diner in The Village. I was just eating eggs at 2am like you do and BAM. Not cool, man.
Okay now seriously... stop reading. Unless you're caught up... then you can scroll down
Poor Sansa Stark... Westeros' saddest little chick. I mean sure, her prince charming boyfriend Joffrey turned out to be a sociopath who ordered the death of her father and then made her watch as his head was impaled on a spike. Sure she then has to hang around Kings Landing being tortured by said sociopath while The Lannisters hunt down her mother and her brother in order to kill them too. And sure she's then forced to marry her sociopath ex-boyfriend’s uncle, who also happens to be a Lannister, and a dwarf (this part I personally don’t see a big problem with… I am stragely attracted to Tyrion Lannister… but to each his own). That’s pretty tough. But even though she had so many opportunities to DO SOMETHING about it she just sat, hair piled precariously on top of her head, and pouted.
Now as we reach the halfway point of Season 4 things are only getting worse for you, Sansa. You made a friend who gave you a necklace, but he only did so because that necklace was laced with the poison that would later kill Joffrey (and thank God). This friend helps you escape to your old pal Littlefinger who masterminded the whole operation and is waiting to whisk you away from King’s Landing. FINALLY! But first he shoots your new friend in the face with a crossbow. Confusing. You arrive in The Veil where you meet your Aunt for the first time. Your Aunt, however, isn’t thrilled to see you because she believes you to be a threat to her happiness with Littlefinger. She offers you lemon cakes, your favorite, but they are not friendly lemon cakes. They are warning lemon cakes.
Sansa… listen up girl. Life is hard, I get it, but when are you gonna learn to stop trusting people? When are you gonna learn that there is no such thing as friendly lemon cake? It’s not your fault really that you seem so silly sometimes. You’re surrounded by some of the strongest female characters to ever grace a television screen. I doubt that your whininess and overall uselessness would be nearly as frustrating if you weren’t sharing a screen with the likes of Dany, your sister Aria, Brienne of Tarth, and even Cersei - as f#%ked up as she is she at least gets stuff done.
Bless your heart, Sansa.
Translation:
You gotta buck up buttercup. You gotta DO something… not only with your life, but with your hair too. Then maybe you won’t hear such a big “BlessYour Heart” from we “Game Of Thrones” fans living below the Mason-Dixon line. We’re rooting for you sister. Keep the faith, baby.
With Grace and Good Humor,
