Bless Your Heart of the Week: Kylie Jenner Challenge Participants

May 7, 2015

Well, friends... the jig is up.  It's the end of the road.  We can all pack up and go home.  Kylie Jenner's lips are fake.

 

 

In a clip (viewable here) from this coming Sunday's episode of "Keeping Up with The Kardashians", or as I like to call it the end of civilization as we know it, Kylie finally comes clean and admits to using "temporary lip fillers" to achieve what is now her infamous plumped out pout...  And her older and wiser half-sister Kim isn't the only one upset about it either.

 

 

In the last month, a social media phenomenon big enough to rival the #IceBucketChallenge has taken the internet by storm, only this time the cause is slightly less noble than ALS awareness.  Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Kylie Jenner Challenge.  This "challenge" calls upon Kardashian superfans all over the world, who are willing to do whatever it takes to emulate their role models, to insert their lips into a shot glass or water bottle in hopes of achieving Miss Jenner's signature lip look.  That's right.  Insert lips into bottle, and suck.  The absence of air in the cavity creates friction causing the lips to appear fuller once removed from the bottle or glass, most likely because they are engorged with blood.  Sounds like a great idea, right?  Just in case sarcasm doesn't translate over the interwebs let me clarify: it's INSANE.  But what's even crazier is the number of people, namely young girls, who against medical advice and all reason have actually attempted the challenge to horrifying results.  Check out these images that young women have shared on social media of their DIY face modifications gone wrong:

 

 

 

 

I mean, these young girls physically injured their faces only to find out less than a month later that their princess, who has claimed that her lips are au naturel, has been lying to them.  Say it with me, y'all:

 

Bless their hearts...

 

Full disclosure: I can't help but chuckle about it a little... this strange obsession with celebrity that the late-millennial generation and Generation-Xers seems to have, not to mention their need to share every single thing that happens to them (good bad and ugly) with the world via social media.  Like seriously, WHAT were they thinking?  But there actually is a greater issue here.

 

Parents... I'm going to drop my southern charm for a minute and speak quite frankly:  Get your shit together.   Where were you when your kids were watching that marathon of "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" on E! learning that all it takes to "make it" is a well edited sex tape?  Where were you when your daughters were bruising their faces in hopes of changing themselves to fit the mold that Hollywood has deemed "beautiful"?  We need to get back to the days when young women looked up to the likes of Eleanor Roosevelt and Maya Angelou.  THOSE women knew what it means to be a beautiful woman, no false and unattainable ideals involved.  You don't have to stick your mouth in a bottle and suck to be beautiful... you just have to be kind of heart, strong of mind, and generous of spirit.  That beauty is more real than silicone lips and chiseled cheekbones will ever be.

 

Now, this is not to say that I am against plastic surgery.  If a grown ass woman makes a decision to change something about herself that she doesn't like, that is absolutely her prerogative.  As I always say, "live your truth".  But for a girl who is SEVENTEEN, and in a position of great influence when it comes to other young girls and their self-esteem issues, to go under the knife and lie about it isn't right.  It sends the wrong message.  She's not living her truth.  You know who IS living her truth?  My favorite Kardashian - Khloe.  That girl ALWAYS lives her truth, and in another clip from next weeks episode calls her half-sister out:

 

 

Preach, Khloe.  If the show were called "Living Your Truth with Khloe Kardashian" I might watch.  Key word: MIGHT.

 

With Grace and Good Humor,

 

 

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My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!

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