Bless Your Heart of the Week: Fashion Week

February 19, 2015

 

Twice a year, New York's most beautiful people all gather at Lincoln Center for Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week.  There are two major "seasons" in Fashion: Fall/Winter, which has its showing in February, and Spring/Summer, which has its showing in September.  You have never seen anything so exquisite as September Fashion Week.  The weather is still warm, but you can feel the slight change in the air that signifies the approach of Fall.  Everyone has that perfectly sun-kissed look after spending the summer relaxing in The Hamptons, or summering in the south of France.  There is something about September Fashion Week that exudes effortlessness.  It says, "Oh this old thing?  I just threw it on..." about the outfit you have clearly had planned for a month.  Or, to quote Queen Bey, "I woke up like this..." about the hairdo and makeup you just spent 2 hours having professionally done by your glamsquad in the comfort of you living room.  When I dream, I live in a perpetual September Fashion Week state of being.  Flawless hair, flawless clothes, flawless weather... just FLAWLESS.  February Fashion Week is a different story.

 

February Fashion Week is a nightmare.  There is nothing effortless about February Fashion Week.  First of all, it's frigid, and probably snowing, and I'm here to tell you that no matter how expensive your parka was, and no matter who may have designed your snow boots, you're still wearing snow boots and you're still going to look like a marshmallow.  A Burberry marshmallow... but a marshmallow all the same.  So what inevitably happens is that practicality flies out the window, and instead of dressing for the season, the women deicide to simply live in ignorance of the cold and pretend it is still September.  Their motto becomes WILL FREEZE FOR FASHION, and they risk hypothermia for their chance at a spot on that day's Best Dressed List.

 

Ladies... Bless your hearts.

 

 

I'm not against suffering a little for fashion.  I have a pair of Manolo Blahnik pumps that pinch my feet like the dickens, but I wear them because they are exquisite.  And I have been Spanxed and corseted within an inch of my life to get into a dress, and even though I might not be able to breathe I don't care because I look fantastic.  But look at "manhattan_girl"... I know her caption says "What do you mean it's too cold in New York?  Fashionistas never take days off." but you have to be out of your damn mind to stroll through Central Park wearing a pink tulle tutu, a white sleeveless t-shirt, and bright pink Valentino studded t-straps in -15 degree wind chill.  I mean, I'm as big a fan of tulle as the next girl.. but that's just suicidal!!  

 

 Or this look on 19-year old model Gigi Hadid attending the Tory Burch show:  a WHITE LINEN coat from Tory Burch's Spring 2015 line over a WHITE MINI SKIRT and SANDALS.  In the dead of winter.  Not only is she breaking the cardinal rule of wearing white linen after Labor Day/before Easter, but that is SLUSH. She is standing in a puddle of SLUSH. Congratulations - those gorgeous shoes are ruined and you have pneumonia. I mean you look gorgeous but BLESS!!  Aren't you cold? Can I bring you a hot chocolate?  Or maybe some SOCKS?  Perhaps a space heater?  It's making me cold just looking at this picture and I'm sitting in my sauna of an apartment.  Good old NYC clinking clanking radiator heat for ya!

 

I guess there are things that are just beyond my comprehension, and freezing your bum off for no good reason is surely one of them.  But I suppose we're all a little crazy when it comes to certain things... and maybe, just maybe, we're all a little bit in need of having our hearts blessed.  In fact I know we are, it's what makes life so interesting.  With that said... 'till next week friends.

 

With Grace and Good Humor,

 

 

 

 

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My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!

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