Bless Your Heart of the Week: My not so super Super

November 15, 2014

This week’s edition of B.Y.H. is pretty self-explanatory.  I mean… just look at the note I found from my Super taped on my door when I got back to my apartment Monday night:

 

 

Okay.  Let’s pick this apart.

 

 

 

1)  “We are going to do this tomorrow.”  There are two things wrong with this statement.  The first, "tomorrow".  I addressed the leak with my super A WEEK AGO and moved out so he could address it.  I stayed at my uncles' townhouse on the Upper East Side for a WEEK to give him PLENTY of time to finish the job, but I guess that wasn't enough.  Secondly, he said “this”… WHAT IS “THIS”?!  “This” could mean any number of things.  You can imagine what things crossed my mind.  I would later find out upon returning to my apartment last night that “this” meant THIS:

 

 

Good.  That’s good.  So was the puddle of brown water on my kitchen counter and the pieces of brick and mortar all over my floor.  Not to mention the dust.

 

2) I’ve never been a fan of leeks.  Not my favorite member of the onion family by any means.  They are like green onion’s estranged albino cousin and red onion won’t give them the time of day.  But do you want to know what I care for less than leeks?  LEAKS.  LEAKS ARE VERY BAD.  And apparently there is STILL one in my apartment.

 

3) Can we clarify that date?  I didn’t even notice this until I shared the note with a friend.  11/11/15 – as in next year.  I’m not ruling the date completely invalid though… it might very well take them until 11/11/15 to fix the damn hole.

 

As it turns out my Super isn’t all that super…

 

Bless his heart.

 

 

I’m a true Upper West Side girl so I never thought I’d be saying this but TAKE ME BACK TO THE UPPER EAST SIDE.  The land of The Met, Laudree, townhouses, 1500 thread count sheets, white robes, and ceilings without holes in them.

 

“I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow”

 

– what I said to this white robe upon hanging it back up in the closet.

 

I know… #firstworldproblems

 

 

 

 

With Grace and Good Humor,

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My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!

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