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Bless Your Heart of the Week: Sleepy Stanley

So last Friday morning I woke up at 6:00am, dressed up (as instructed) like I was attending “a nice dinner”, and walked the few blocks down from my apartment to ABC studios to stand in line with some girlfriends for a taping of LIVE with Kelly and Michael. I’ve lived in New York for over 7 years now and I had never done something like that… not GMA, not Today (unless Aunt Dolly was performing but you know that story), not SNL, nothing… so when I got the invite I said “Why not?”. It was actually really neat. I hadn’t been in that studio since the days of Regis and Kathie Lee… more specifically since Kathie Lee’s farewell episode. My whole family was in the audience that morning and after it was done we all went out to her house on Nantucket for the weekend BUT I DIGRESS. Moral of the story is I really enjoyed it! Kelly and Michael are so adorable together and there were some great guests. We even got to see Jessie J do her pre-record for Monday’s episode. MAN can that girl sing!!!

All that said, I’m not a morning person. I used to have to wake up at 6:00am three days a week to attend a zero period 7am Vocal Jazz Ensemble class in high school, so as soon as I graduated I felt as though I had earned the right to never do that again. To this day I only wake up that early to travel or take the occasional Sunday morning SoulCycle class (and by occasional I mean it happened once), and on these occasions I have to set four alarms because my body has actually figured out how to turn off my alarm clock WITHOUT WAKING UP. It has happened folks. Not once, not twice, many times. Needless to say, early rising is NOT on my list of special skills. And while stifling yawns last Friday morning at the taping and surveying the studio I realized I wasn’t alone.

Meet Sleepy Stanley: One of about 7 men present in an audience of almost 300 people. That alone would be “bless” worthy, but the fact that he is FAST ASLEEP just adds to it. He is NOT having it. It is Friday of Columbus Day weekend. He wants to be home, in bed, perhaps eating pop tarts and watching football in preparation for the weekend’s games. He doesn’t want to be sitting in a studio full of screaming women trying to take selfies with Kelly Ripa! HE doesn’t know who Kelly Ripa IS! Michael Strahan’s football legacy held his attention for the first 20 minutes (in fact that was probably what got him in the car), until the topic of conversation switched to how often people shower. I’m assuming that’s when he checked out. Let’s say it together:

Bless his heart.

Dear Sleepy Stanley: The struggle is real. I understand. Go home, get some sleep, and recharge for what will most probably be a weekend filled with beer and hot wings. No one has to know you were even there in your red pullover. Your secret is safe with me… and all the readers of this blog.

With Grace and Good Humor,

My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!


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