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The BluePrint Cleanse: After

Well this is it. Today was Day 5 of The BluePrint Cleanse. As you can see in the picture I enjoyed my last red beet juice tonight in my bathtub, drinking it out of a wine glass like it was red wine. A fine way to beet the system, huh? See what I did there? BEET the system?

Guys I have had nothing but juice for 5 WHOLE DAYS do not begrudge me my pun.

The past 5 days have been quite a journey. It’s amazing what your body can do even on such minimal intake. I was so worried that I was going to feel super tired and lethargic all the time but I didn’t. It’s a total mind game. The people at BluePrint guarantee that your body will not be deprived of what it needs to function, so the minute you allow your mind to believe that, and focus on the nutrients your body IS getting instead of focusing on all the things it isn’t getting (like frozen yogurt, or Chipotle), it becomes infinitely easier, and in a way liberating.

There are 3 levels of the cleanse: Level 1 being the least number of green juices and Level 3 being all green juice. I did Level 1 because admittedly I was so scared of that damn green juice. Here's how it went: You start in the morning with a green juice (romaine, celery, cucumber apple, spinach, kale, parsley, lemon), which wasn’t nearly as scary as I thought! I mean it isn't heaven or anything, but it's doable. Then comes the yellow juice (pineapple, apple, mint), yum, then another green, and then the lemonade (lemon, cayenne, agave), which I found was a great pick me up in the mid-afternoon. In the evening you drink the red juice (apple, carrot, beet, lemon, ginger), followed by the decadent (or what seems decadent in comparison) cashew milk (cashew, vanilla, cinnamon, agave). And that’s your day!! I really enjoyed the simplicity of it. They weren't kidding when they said "We Think. You Drink." And it all tasted really good! Especially the cashew milk... talk about a reward for getting through your day! Here's the link to the website... Anyone interested in cleansing should definitely check it out!


Now all that said, I must admit that while I was able to function surprisingly well through Days 1 and 2, there were moments when I felt myself hit a wall. On Day 3 I had three auditions. The first was a chorus call – I sang my 16 bars and left. Went great. The next was a Shakespeare audition for a production of “As You Like It” – I did my monologue and left. Again, great. The last one, which almost immediately followed that second audition, was for a show called “Sing For Your Shakespeare” which called for actors with both a command of Shakespearean verse and singing ability. This, I thought, would be a slam-dunk. I walk in, put my sheet music on the piano, introduce myself and start to sing. Y’all – I COMPLETELY FORGOT THE WORDS TO MY SONG. I was singing “Walk On By” by Dionne Warwick, a song that has like 5 WORDS TOTAL in it just in case you’re not familiar, and I completely blanked. It was so bad that I actually had to stop and ask for help… I couldn’t even make up words. My brain literally shut down. That NEVER happens to me. But then again I’ve never had a marathon audition day in the middle of a juice cleanse. I wouldn’t recommend it. I was able to get through the rest of the audition and recovered pretty well (at least that's what I'm telling myself), but I don’t think I’ll getting a call back. BLESS.

I had that date on Day 4… or rather Night 4. This was a special date, because it wasn't an online date. It was an "I met a real person in a real life scenario and we hit it off and exchanged phone numbers" date. THERE IS HOPE! But it was like jumping through hoops making plans without admitting to being on a juice cleanse… because who wants to be “that girl” who’s like “Oh yea lets totally go out but I’m doing a juice cleanse sooooo…”. Seriously, that would be even worse than being “that gluten free vegan” girl, especially on a first date. He kept asking if we could go out for a drink, so I explained that I wasn’t really drinking in preparation for a symphony concert gig I have next month, which is totally true, and after a good amount of teasing re: my sobriety, we agreed to meet for tea. Tea at 10pm. Before you do a face-palm on my behalf he was actually, surprisingly, kind of into it! He said it was refreshing to not be going super crazy on a Friday night. Little does he know that this is what MOST of my Friday nights look like because I’m 87 years old. I think I’ll keep that information to myself for a while longer. But it was good. We had lots in common and enjoy a lot of the same things. We actually talked about my being a debutante. He said he felt like he was sitting with American royalty. It’s interesting though; I didn’t even bring it up. He just knew. There was just something different about me, he said. Good to know that even on nothing but juice my Southern graces still permeate. Can’t turn it off. I guess we’ll have to see whether or not that proves a blessing or a curse.

Anyway, I’m feeling really great sipping on this very last cashew milk and super proud of myself for committing to this program and seeing it through. It wasn’t nearly as difficult as I thought it was going to be. I didn't lose quite as much weight as I was hoping to, but honestly that's not what the cleanse was really for anyway. It was more of a physical and spiritual cleansing of toxins. I’m thrilled that I did it and can’t wait to do it again in 6 months or so. But I’d be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to grocery shopping tomorrow like a child looks forward to Christmas on Christmas Eve. I'm planning on eating my weight in broccoli and brussels sprouts. I never thought I could ever be so excited about broccoli and brussels sprouts. And oh my goodness GRAPES. Shirtless men are going to be feeding me grapes in my dreams tonight. So on that note, I think I’ll say good night and go dream of produce. And what happy dreams they’ll be.

With Grace and Good Humor,

My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!


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