The BluePrint Cleanse: Before

So tomorrow I start the 5-Day BluePrint Juice Cleanse, and while I have a feeling I won’t be super thrilled about it tomorrow, right now I am actually super excited about it.

See I have tried juice cleansing twice before, and both times have been wrought with problems. The first time was last January. I had wrung in the New Year and wasn’t in the best shape mentally, emotionally, or for that matter physically. Unhealthy romantic relationships had plagued my 2012, especially the latter half, and I had put on a bunch of weight gradually over the year as a result of my newly adopted "say yes to everything” attitude. 2012 was NOT my best year. I wanted to do a hard reset on my life heading into 2013 and what better way to do that, I thought, than with a juice cleanse? I did some research and as it turned out there was this woman who ran a yoga/juice cleanse retreat up in The Hamptons on Long Island that specialized in couples and group retreats, but had her single room available for the week I was set to return to New York. I mean this place had enforced silent hours, meditation, daily yoga practices, and best of all – a no cell phone rule. PERFECT. I was going to have no choice but to totally unplug and focus on myself. I was so excited. I took the Hampton Jitney bus out to Long Island (and let me tell you the clientele of the Hampton Jitney in January is something special) and arrived in this gorgeous snow covered town. I get to the house, unpack, and just as I settle in with my journal, feelings at the ready, the housekeeper arrives with a report that the pipes in the house are frozen over and there is no heat or hot water. With the apologies of the owner I am handed a bottle of green juice for my journey home and told to re-book my stay. Thank goodness I was able to catch the last bus back into Manhattan, and upon arriving back in NYC, I cabbed to my apartment, dropped off my bag of books and yoga clothes, and b-lined for Chipotle. I figured after all of that the least I deserved was a burrito bowl.

A month later I was still feeling the urge to restart. For whatever reason it wasn’t enough to just journal about it being a new year, nor was it enough to just get back to my gym routine with the rest of the resolution crowd. I needed something to represent the starting over, and a cleanse still seemed like the most appropriate thing. I would be cleansing my body both figuratively and literally of the toxins from 2012. But since the lady at the retreat refused to refund my money, I was low on cash and couldn’t really afford to drop the money for a professional cleanse. But hey – I could totally do this myself! So I went to Fairway and bought about 5 big bottles of like non-equity Naked juice (real Naked juice was a bit pricey), and just figured I would drink 12oz of it 5 times a day for 5 days and then maybe do some Yoga To the People podcasts in my apartment. I mean that’s basically what I was going to be doing on the retreat, right?

WRONG.

Do you know how much sugar is in that store bought juice? A lot. And while it claims to be totally organic and fantastic for you, it’s not pure juice. It’s not even pressed juice. They’re like smoothies almost, and drinking nothing but that for 5 days not only didn’t help me lose weight, but shocked my system so badly that I wound up coming down with a 10 day flu the day after my cleanse ended. I was miserable. I just stayed in bed, slept, and watched lots of Netflix… hello 6 hour BBC “Pride and Prejudice”. I vowed never to cleanse again. Though I must admit, the weight I lost from the flu more than made up for the lack of loss during my facacta ghetto cleanse. I’m also pretty sure I may have had a glass of wine as a serving of juice toward the end. I mean technically wine IS juice but I’ll admit it was not one of my proudest moments. So dumb.

This time however is going to be different because this time I’m doing it properly. It’s been over a year since those debacles and I found myself feeling that same itch for a reset; this time not so much for emotional or mental wellness, but for my body. I have been feeling super sluggish and weak and just not myself lately... probably because of all the travel and stress. I also have my share of digestive issues and cleanses are apparently really helpful with that too. During a cleanse your digestive system gets to go on a vacation because it literally isn’t having to do anything. So after some research into my options, I saw that Gilt City was offering a special discount on the BluePrint 5-day cleanse. It was meant to be. The first 3 days of juices arrived today and as you see in the picture they are all lined up in my fridge.

“We think. You Drink.” I really like that.

It’s going to be interesting to see how this goes. I haven’t planned my week around this cleanse. I have 4 auditions, several rehearsals, and plenty of other plans with friends. Oh gosh, I just remembered I'm also going on a DATE this week. Not sure how that's gonna work. I’m gonna be living on a juice and a prayer! But I know I can do it. At least I do now. Tomorrow I might be singing a completely different song, but right now I’m feeling super confident.

Stay tuned for updates!!

With Grace and Good Humor,

My name is Mary Lane Haskell and my two "claims to fame" are that I have Dolly Parton's fax number and that Reese Witherspoon once liked a post on my Instagram.  I am an actor, a writer, and a profound Chipotle enthusiast making my way in Los Angeles while trying to stay true to my family's southern roots, all with grace and a touch a good humor.  I'm so glad you're here!

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